Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.
OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM.
I did both…
i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now
You kinky son of a bitch.
I used to step on mine until they exploded.
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
So we’re at the hospital in the waiting room and my uncle starts laughing and he says “Dad’s horoscope says he has something to get off his chest.” It took us a minute- my grandpa is getting a heart bypass.
UPDATE: his surgery went well.
Also one of his doctors is named Dr. Shrek
Watching the Beth portion of the trailer:
why test on animals when there are prisons full of rapists
because the prisons aren’t actually full of rapists
the rapists run free and the prisons are full of people charged with weed possession